Сергей
15.02.2003, 20:14
The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that
would be
known as "EuroEnglish": --
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"..
Sertainly, this
will make the sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be
dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will
make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is
disgraceful, and
they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z"and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze
unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes
vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand
ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! :-)
whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had
some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that
would be
known as "EuroEnglish": --
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"..
Sertainly, this
will make the sivil sevants jump with joy. The hard "c"
will be
dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up
konfusion and
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will
make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is
disgraceful, and
they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z"and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze
unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaning "ou" and similar changes
vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand
ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!! :-)
