Mahleria is one of the most serious health problems facing humanity.
At least 10 million of the world's music audience is known to be
infected. Hundreds of thousands more "Closet Mahlerians" are believed
to be infected, the rate growing every year.
The disease is mainly confined to the affluent areas of Europe,
America and East Asia. The problems are aggravated by inadequate
listening diets. The situation has complexified over the years with
the increase in resistance to alternative musics used to combat the
disease-carrying parasite.

Mahleria is caused mainly by the vector Compact Discs of the genus
Blastmodium Postmodernemotionalis. Three species of Blastmodium can
produce the disease in its various forms - Blastmodium Egogigantis,
Blastmodium Miserablis and Blastmodium Mahleria. B. Egogigantis is
the most dangerous: untreated it can lead to Fatal Cerebral Mahleria,
in which the victim becomes zombie-like, hanging around concert halls
with bagloads of CDs, staring balefully at potential converts and
especially conductors deemed to have made mistakes.

Compact Discs are transmitted by the Blastmodium subspecies of the
Concertgoer family. For some reason, mainly males carry the parasite.
Like all other concertgoers, they breed primarily in concert halls,
CD shops and music newsgroups. Sensitivity to pesticides, including
high CD prices, is variable.

Parasites in a victim progressively break down other cells
responsible for supporting other composers. This induces bouts of
CDlust in the infected individual, as well as that feverish look in
their eyes. In Cerebral Mahleria, the infected cells obstruct the
blood vessels in the brain. This dangerous syptom can only be
alleviated by listening to Mahler symphonies, which liberate the
blood flow.